Courtship: Immediate Attraction

red hair may appear exciting and delightfulI must admit, I am drawn to the brutal honesty of this selection, and how quickly the authors ~ Esther Tietz and Charles Weichert ~ smash all hopes of love at first site. Makes me feel so…what’s the word… oh, I’ve got it ~ depressed. Or maybe not. Maybe everything will work out just fine and that true love is possible. Damn, I’m confused! I think I need some alcohol to “blur my perception” of the situation.

1938: Courtship: Immediate Attraction

When a man and woman meet, they may be immediately attracted to each other. Usually this is because the appearance, voice, and behavior of the one so please the senses of the other that they arouse interest and admiration. It may be, too, that the condition of the participants is such that any member of the opposite sex would be pleasing at the time. For instance, the surroundings might be romantic; either might not have seen anyone of the opposite sex for a long time; or one might have had some alcohol or other drug which would blur perception.

The pleasure arising from the person or situation, however, actually comes for the most part from the associations which they recall. If such associations have been pleasurable, they become pleasure invoking themselves. Thus, red hair may appear exciting and delightful to one person, because it recalls early associations with a favorite playmate; white, smooth shoulders might be identified with early memories of a mother; a deep resonant voice may instantly afford the sense of security associated with one’s father. Such influences may be so great that the person feels he has “fallen in love at first sight.” Many persons actually believe that when this occurs, it signifies that the individuals are sexually attracted or ideally suited as mates. Nothing could be more untrue. The voice that recalls the father may come from a shiftless drunkard, unable to afford security even for himself, and personally lacking all the attributes his voice promises. The smooth, white shoulders may belong to a selfish, tantrum-throwing woman, quite unlike the mother whose image she assumes. Many a man has been disappointed by the uninteresting and colorless girl whose flaming hair he had associated with excitement and fun. Therefore, it is wise to consider carefully such immediate attachments, lest the unconscious associations lead one to accept what is later to be a sorry disappointment.

Source: Tietz, Esther B. and Charles K. Weichert. The Art and Science of Marriage. New York: Whittlesey House/McGraw-Hill Book Company, 1938.
~ pp. 12-13 ~