Who is Miss Abigail?

Abigail Grotke
Silver Spring, MD
email: missabigail at missabigail dot com
twitter: @DearMissAbigail

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Miss Abigail has a collection of over 1,000 classic advice books, spanning from 1822 to 1978 and covering a variety of topics, from love and romance to etiquette and charm. The collection sparked the idea for this site, then a book, Miss Abigail's Guide to Dating, Mating, and Marriage, which has inspired an Off-Broadway production of the same name!

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give thoughtful considerationQ Dear Miss Abigail:

I have a girlfriend who lives in another country, but she hasn’t written me like she said she would. What should I do?

Signed,
John

A Dear John:

Uh, oh. Her actions do not appear to be a good sign, according to the following advice from Warren D. Bowman’s Home Builders of Tomorrow. Although this section appears to be written for girls, I think it could come in handy for just about everyone, particularly in this age of hurried email messages. If only your girlfriend would listen to our dear friend Mr. Bowman!

1938: Courtesy in Correspondence

There is also a type of courtesy that should be manifested in correspondence. A young lady became disgusted during her correpondence with a young man. She said that he never gave any consideration to her letter when replying and ignored ideas she had expressed and questions she had asked. This young man had never learned the courtesy of correspondence, which demands a mutual exchange of ideas and full consideration of any point mentioned by the other in the last letter. Correspondence can be used as a means of testing the courtesy, thinking, modes of expression, sportsmanship, and often the philosophy of life of the other. Can he write an interesting letter? Does he express his ideas in a pleasing manner? The kind of letter a person writes may serve somewhat as a test of his intelligence and resourcefulness. It is wise to refrain from writing letters that are too sentimental, as they may embarrass one later in life. Young people could well afford to give thoughtful consideration to their correspondence when part of their courtship is carried on this way.

Source: Bowman, Warren D. Home Builders of Tomorrow. Elgin, Ill.: The Elgin Press, 1938.
~ pp. 60-61 ~

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