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A Gentle "No," "No," and "No"
I have this best friend in school and he is like a best mate to me, but he asked me out and I don’t feel the same way about him. I felt guilty refusing him, and every time we see each other we tried to avoid each other. I just wanted to go back as we use to be. After about three months of this we finally started talking but then he asked me out again. I don’t know how I can gently say no without starting this silent treatment all over again. Can you help me? Yours faithfully, Some boys just don’t get the hint, do they? Sometimes a
plain and simple “no” said over and over again is all
you can do. Here are some thoughts on the topic from Evelyn Millis
Duvall's Facts of Life and Love for Teen-Agers. We can
only hope he’ll eventually see the light. 1956: When You Don't Want to Date
If a girl does not ever want to date a particular boy, she does
him a kindness when she gives him no encouragement whatsoever. To
lead a boy on, when she never intends to go out with him, does him
an injustice and unnecessarily prolongs the refusals. There are
many reasons that a girl may refuse to consider dating a particular
boy. He may drink, or run around with a fast set, or have a bad
reputation, or be the kind of person whom for other reasons she
does not feel she can associate with. If he is not datable from
her point of view, she will be wise to refuse his attentions courteously
but with firmness and finality.
Source: Facts of Life and Love for Teen-Agers Home • About • The Book • Advice • Abiblog • Bookshelf • Contact
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It
is discourteous for a boy to ask why when a girl tells him that
she cannot do something that he asks. When a boy pushes for explanation
of a girl’s refusal, she is justified in kidding him about
his persistence, or in simply changing the subject.
