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Abigail Grotke
Takoma Park, MD
email: missabigail at missabigail dot com
twitter: @DearMissAbigail

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Miss Abigail has a collection of over 1,000 classic advice books, spanning from 1822 to 1978 and covering a variety of topics, from love and romance to etiquette and charm. The collection sparked the idea for this site, then a book, Miss Abigail's Guide to Dating, Mating, and Marriage, which has inspired an off-broadway production of the same name!

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Posts Tagged ‘1900s’

Really Senior Prom Tips

Sunday, August 15th, 2010

be careful to have extra wrapsQ Dear Miss Abigail:

I’m having a senior prom. The seniors are over sixty to ninety-eight. What should they wear, and what do we eat and drink?

Signed,
Carol

A Dear Carol:

Now this sounds like some fun. There’s no special food required for events such as yours, so it’s probably best to eat and drink whatever your seniors like to eat and drink. Dress, however, is something I can help with. While the men should simply wear suits and ties, the ladies might like to take heed to Ms. Melendy’s advice from Vivilore (1904) regarding proper dress for evening parties.

1904: For Evening Parties

No woman with beautiful neck and arms, can well resist the delights of occasionally wearing evening dress; it is as natural as for flowers to bloom. When the social gatherings are very informal, any pretty, light dress is suitable, and summer afternoon gowns may be made to do service at such times. But for the more formal occasions the dress cut low in the neck and short in the sleeves is desired; and may be worn, with proper precautions, by women in vigorous health. The daily cold sponge bath will do much to prevent one from taking cold; but in winter, the woman who indulges in evening dress must be careful to have extra wraps, and should not go out doors from a warm room while perspiring. Carelessness at these times has caused many a serious illness; and no woman who has not first mastered the tendency to take cold ought to attempt evening dress at all. Robust health is the very first requisite. English women, who are usually vigorous, wear dresses of this cut daily without injury.

Source: Melendy, Dr. Mary Ries. Vivilore: The Pathway to Mental and Physical Perfection. Chicago: W. R. Vansant, 1904.
~ p. 205 ~

Cosmetics and Cheerfulness

Saturday, August 14th, 2010

rub your face with itOh, you don’t know how pleased I am to have found this week’s selection. In my many books on beauty and health, this is the first I’ve seen that has discussed the merits of NOT wearing makeup. As one who must have skipped the “how to apply cosmetics” lesson in junior high (and never figured it out in later years, either) I find this excerpt from The Household Guide, or, Domestic Cyclopedia, written by B. J. Jefferis and J. L. Nichols, quite refreshing.

1902: Cosmetics and Cheerfulness

Cosmetics are generally good for nothing but the drug business. One merry thought, one kind word, and the smallest contribution to another’s happiness, will do more for the complexion than a tableful of cold cream, violet powder, and other skin whiteners. A sweet thought will make the face brighten, and the eyes sparkle, every time it is harbored. It was Alice Cary who sang this old truth so gracefully thirty years ago: Don’t mind the cosmetics, little woman; just be as cheerful as you can. Make the best of things. Avoid disagreeable people. Don’t read or listen to the horrible. Try to forget the unpleasant things in life. Be cheerful, be gentle, and so be lovely.

Cosmetics. ~ Young lady, do not deceive yourself. You cannot use cosmetics without the knowledge of your gentlemen friends. They will respect you the more if you forever abandon the use of such subterfuges.

Vegetables Better than Cosmetics. ~ Ladies who wish clear complexions, instead of using cosmetics, eat vegetables and fruit, as long as they are in season; and never throw away cucumber water or the juice of any fruit, but rub your face with it whenever you have it.

Eat fruit, girls ~ good, ripe fruit, however ~ if you would have and keep a clear and beautiful skin.

Practice smiles, also, not frowns. There is a wonderful charm in a smile. Like charity, it hides a multitude of sins.

Source: Jefferis, Prof. B. G. The Household Guide, or Domestic Cyclopedia. Atlanta, Ga.: J. L. Nichols & Co., 1902.
~ p. 254 ~

Wisdom and Beauty in Rest

Saturday, August 14th, 2010

rest often, in the right wayI’ve been a tad bit sick this past week, so have done my share of lounging on the couch and bed with my sweet dog curled up next to me. Although I am back at work now, I’ve still got resting on my mind. Professor B. G. Jefferis seems quite the expert on this topic; here’s a quote from his Household Guide. Go forth, good people, and rest!

1902: Wisdom and Beauty in Rest

Good Health. ~ In these days of ten-minute-a-day reading, or half-hour studying societies for improving the mind, how many women make it a point to spend certain ‘minutes’ in rest to improve their nerves and their beauty? Good health is of vastly more importance than intellectuality, for of what comfort to its possessor, or to any one else, is the most brilliant mind which lives in a weary or nervous body? Sheer weariness causes more trouble in the world than it ever gets blamed for. A rested person, other things being right, is a pleasant one; while a tired person, under whatever advantageous circumstances, is almost sure to be cross. Many a family wrangle has started from a few sharp words caused by overstrained nerves.

Personal Appearance. ~ It is natural ~ and perfectly right ~ for a woman always to consider her personal appearance of great importance. That fact should cause the subject of rest to find favor, as those who are always a little overtired never look well. Their faces assure a worried, frowning expression, and wrinkles, gray hairs, dull eyes and sallow complexion follow in natural succession.

The Best Rest. ~ Would you keep your fresh complexion, and plumpness, and bright eyes? Then rest! Rest often, and rest in the right way. Do not insist that change of occupation is rest. There is no greater delusion. It is nothing of the kind. It simply varies the kind of fatigue ~ adds another different in location. The best rest, the only real rest, is found in a recumbent position. No one can stand or sit without holding comparatively taut some muscles, and the tension tires them and the nerves by sympathy. To rest, lie down on something entirely comfortable, and relax every nerve and muscle as much as possible. This is not altogether easy to do at first, but ‘practice makes perfect.’ The rest of it is wonderful ~ in fact, the whole secret of rest lies in the one word: relaxation. Notice a baby’s or an animal’s complete relaxation while it sleeps. Five minutes at a time several times a day ~ and more if possible ~ of such rest will certainly add to length of life and happiness.

False Economy. ~ Many people think that they cannot afford to lie down in the daytime, or if they do that they must improve the time by reading. It is a false idea of an economy of time. Neither the reading nor the resting is well done; and so the time spent is practically wasted. But to take little rests ~ lying down ~ does not waste time; it is time invested in a way that pays big dividends.

Source: Jefferis, Prof. B. G. The Household Guide, or Domestic Cyclopedia. Atlanta, Ga.: J. L. Nichols & Co., 1902.
~ pp. 49 ~

Bacteria in the Body

Wednesday, August 11th, 2010

growing on the skinCan’t get disease and infection out of your mind these days? That’s what I thought. When looking through one of my books titled General Hygiene, I stumbled upon this little gem about the bacteria that naturally grows in our bodies. Like we didn’t have enough to worry about.

1913: Bacteria in the Body

Many kinds of bacteria which produce offensive decay are always growing on the skin. In the mouth bits of food, dead skin, and the moisture of saliva form a good soil in which many kinds of bacteria flourish, causing decay and a bad smelling breath. Bacteria are the cause of decay in teeth. They grow in the dead scales of a dirty skin, and cause the bad odors of an unwashed body. They grow abundantly in the intestine, and are the cause of many forms of indigestion.

A few kinds of bacteria may grow in living flesh. These are the causes of most kinds of infectious diseases. . . among those of which bacteria have been proven to be the cause are diphtheria, typhoid fever, tuberculosis, grippe, pneumonia, lockjaw, erysipelas, and most kinds of tonsillitis, colds, and sore throats. Pimples, boils, and all other kinds of sores which give off a creamy matter are often called blood-poisoning, but they are all caused by bacteria growing in the
flesh.

Source: Overton, Frank. General Hygiene. New York: American Book Company, 1913.
~ pp. 41-42 ~

Diet to Increase Flesh

Wednesday, August 11th, 2010

with cream and sugarNo wonder I’ve haven’t been losing any weight! I think I’ve mistakenly been on this “increase flesh” diet from Mary Ries Melendy’s book titled Vivilore. Drat.

1904: Diet to Increase Flesh

Thin, nervous people, and all who wish to increase in flesh, may like to know that a dessert spoonful of olive oil, taken before each meal with a half glass of grape juice, is decidedly fattening. So is pure milk, especially new milk with the cream still on it. Or, a raw egg taken at night, with a dash of pepper, salt and lemon juice. Here is a list of foods which are suitable:

Bread. ~ Entire wheat bread, gluten bread.
Milk. ~ Cream, buttermilk, ice cream.
Graham mush, oatmeal mush with cream and sugar.
Soups. ~ Of all kinds, eaten hot at the beginning of a meal, seasoned with plenty of celery, onions or parsley.
Puddings. ~ Light pudding, farina, rice, tapioca, cornstarch, sago, with cream and sugar.
Fruits. ~ Of all kinds. Eaten with sugar.
All liquids except the soup should be drunk between meals. Drink plenty of good water without ice. Eat slowly, moderate quantities.
Vegetables. ~ Spinach, peas, beans, baked potatoes, lettuce with olive oil and lemon juice.
Meats. ~ Mutton, beef, chicken, oysters, fish, eggs.
Coffee and Teas. ~ Sparingly. Chocolate.

This regimen should soon cause the hollows to fill out and the rounded curves to make their appearance.

Source: Melendy, Dr. Mary Ries. Vivilore: The Pathway to Mental and Physical Perfection. Chicago: W. R. Vansant, 1904.
~ p. 105 ~

Tea and Coffee. Why Do We Drink It?

Wednesday, August 11th, 2010

unnatural props and false supportsThis is an interesting bit of information from Professor B. G. Jefferis and J. L. Nichols. It’s from their book titled The Household Guide, or Domestic Cyclopedia. Were it not for the use of the word “dyspepsia,” it could almost have been written for today. And “votaries.” No one uses that word anymore. Oh, heck, this advice is really old and I’m not going to give up my coffee and chocolate for anything! You can’t make me!

1902: Tea and Coffee. Why Do We Drink It?

That fragrant cup of tea, the still more alluring cup of coffee, or the delicious and enticing cocoa or chocolate ~ what is it makes them each and all so indispensible to their votaries?

One says, ‘I drink tea because it is so refreshing, it rests me when I am tired.’ ‘I take coffee for the reason that I can’t do without,’ another honestly confesses; and ‘I drink chocolate because it is so soothing,’ explains a third.

Not Essential to Health. ~ These beverages, physiologists declare, are in no sense to be considered as food or as essential to health. They partake of the nature and effects of alchohol, that is, they are stimulating, exhilarating, sometimes sedative, but never nourishing, and they are taken for a similar reason that the whisky drinker takes the still more stimulating liquor. All are unnatural props and false supports seeming to afford strength and in reality giving none.

Disease Producing. ~ One of the most causes of dyspepsia and nervousness is the immoderate use of tea and coffee. These drinks contain a poison which, although not fatal in small doses, nevertheless produces a decidedly injurious effect. While chocolate and cocoa are less powerful, they produce the same effects.

The tea and coffee drinkers say, ‘Oh, it doesn’t hurt me. I’ve taken it for years.’ But the end is not yet, and when the reckoning is suddenly summed up, there is a painful and fatal deficit, and when it is too late to change the habits of a lifetime, the sad fact becomes apparent that these indulgences in strong tea and coffee are not conducive to the best reults.

Water the Best Drink. ~ Many have found a cure for dyspepsia, nervousness, sick headache and other diseases in discarding tea, coffee, and all their substitutes. After all has been said that can be said in favor of these drinks it remains true that nature’s drink, pure water, is best.

Source: Jefferis, Prof. B. G. The Household Guide, or Domestic Cyclopedia. Atlanta, Ga.: J. L. Nichols & Co., 1902.
~ p. 45 ~

Colds and What to Do with Them

Wednesday, August 11th, 2010

goose greaseA bad cough and cold snuck up on me this week, so as I sat at home recovering for a few days I had plenty of time to read up on the subject. These interesting cures are from Professor B. G. Jefferis’s and J. L. Nichols’s Household Guide. Needless to say, I quickly decided to stick with today’s over-the-counter medicines and a box of tissues. Does anyone know what “syrup of squills” is anyway?

1902: Colds and What to Do with Them

It would be well if we could begin by changing the name. The fact is that colds, so-called, are all poisonings, but are brought on in quite different ways. The nerves of the skin are shocked, and its excretory functions are arrested. The retained poison then causes the inflammation or ‘cold.’ Very commonly the skin has been put into an over-sensitive and inactive condition already by overheated rooms, over-dressing, neglect of bathing, or bad air; and then exposure too slight to be recognized as such at the time does the rest.

First Stage. ~ To treat a cold successfully no time should be wasted at its incipient stage. The herald of approach is usually noticed in heaviness of the eyes and a dull, particularly ‘big’ feeling of the head similar to the effect of quinine. Physicians say that one in perfect health does not contract a cold; it is only when some of the bodily organs fail to perform their regular duties that the cold makes attack upon the system.

Remedy. ~ Doses of oil, cod-liver oil, skunk’s oil, goose grease, and many other sorts, have been found to help certain persons when suffering from colds; but not all. It is probably a question of digesting them or not. But whatever further medication one may elect, do not let it divert attention from the one greatest remedy ~ cold, pure air.

HOW TO CURE A COLD.

The first thing necessary is to get up a free and copious sweating. The object is to get the blood in active circulation and open the pores so that the poisonous matter can be thrown out through the skin.

REMEDIES.

1. A hot foot-bath and a good dose of strong ginger tea just before going to bed. Retire and cover warmly.

2. A hot foot-bath and a pint of hot lemonade taken just before going to bed will produce good results.

3. Flaxseed tea or a mild cathartic will often break up a cold.

4. If the cold is accompanied by a cough, give the following prescription:
1 ounce of Compound Syrup of Squills.
1 ounce of Syrup of Wild Cherry.
Mix, and take a teaspoonful every two hours.

Source: Jefferis, Prof. B. G. The Household Guide, or Domestic Cyclopedia. Atlanta, Ga.: J. L. Nichols & Co., 1902.
~ pp. 141, 142, 143 ~

Laughter, a Great Tonic

Wednesday, August 11th, 2010

a good laugh makes better friendsAccording to this worthwhile excerpt from The Household Guide, hearty laughs are where it’s at, folks. Stay away from those giggles. When you laugh, laugh with purpose! C’mon everyone, laugh with me! Ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha! Ba ha ha! Whew. That felt good.

1902: Laughter, a Great Tonic

Keeps the Spirit Buoyant, the Heart and Face Young.

‘I presume if we laughed more we should all be happier and healthier,’ writes Edward W. Bok in the Ladies’ Home Journal. ‘True, we are a busy and a very practical people. And most of us probably find more in this life to bring the frown than the smile. But, nevertheless, it is a pity that we do not laugh more; that we do not bring ourselves to the laugh, if need be.

Best Medicine. ~ We all agree that a good laugh is the best medicine in the world. Physicians have said that no other feeling works so much good to the entire human body as that of merriment. As a digestive, it is unexcelled; as a means of expanding the lungs, there is nothing better. It keeps the heart and face young. It is the best of all tonics to the spirits. It is, too, the most enjoyable of all sensations.

Better Friends. ~ A good laugh makes better friends with ourselves and everybody around us, and puts us into closer touch with what is best and brightest in our lot in life. It is to be regretted, then, that such a potent agency for our personal good is not more often used.

Not Expensive. ~ It costs nothing. All other medicines are more or less expensive. “Why,” said an old doctor not long ago, “if people fully realized what it means to themselves to laugh, and laughed as they should, ninety per cent of the doctors would have to go out of business.” Probably when we get a little less busy we shall laugh more. For, after all, the difference between gloom and laughter is but a step. And if more of us simply took a step aside oftener than we do, and rested more, we would laugh more.

Laughter, not Giggling. ~ By laughing I do not mean the silly giggle indulged in by some women and so many girls and boys, too. There is no outward mark which demonstrates the woman of shallow mind so unmistakably as that of giggling. There is no sense in the giggle, no benefit to be derived from it. It makes a fool of the person, and renders every one about uncomfortable.

A Healthful Nature. ~ But just as the giggle is the outcome of a small mind, the hearty laugh is the reflection of a healthful nature. What we want is more good laughers in the world, not more gigglers.’

Source: Jefferis, Prof. B. G. The Household Guide, or Domestic Cyclopedia. Atlanta, Ga.: J. L. Nichols & Co., 1902.
~ p. 50 ~

Be Good to Yourself

Wednesday, August 11th, 2010

wear nothing that pains itSeeing as I’m taking a vacation for a few weeks, I thought I’d leave you with some general happy thoughts about being good to yourself, brought to you by Prof. B. G. Jefferis and his amazing Household Guide. I certainly plan to be good to me, and I hope you’ll do the same for yourself. I don’t want to have to worry about you while I’m gone.

1902: Be Good to Yourself

Think deliberately of the house you live in ~ your body.

Make up your mind firmly not to abuse it.

Eat nothing that will hurt it; wear nothing that distorts or pains it.

Do not overload it with victuals or drink or work.

Give yourself regular and abundant sleep.

Keep your body warmly clad.

At the first sign of danger from the thousand enemies that surround you, defend yourself.

Do not take cold; guard yourself against it; if you feel the first symptoms, give yourself heroic treatment.

Get into a fine glow of heat by exercise.

Take a vigorous walk or run, then guard against a sudden attack of perspiration.

This is the only body you will ever have in this world.

A large share of the pleasure and pain of life will come through the use you make of it.

Study deeply and diligently the structure of it, the laws that should govern it, and the pains and penalties that will surely follow a violation of every law of life or health.

Source: Jefferis, Prof. B. G. The Household Guide, or Domestic Cyclopedia. Atlanta, Ga.: J. L. Nichols & Co., 1902.
~ p. 56 ~

The Value of a Child

Sunday, August 8th, 2010

a little human blossom

Happy birthday, baby Perez, happy birthday, baby Perez, happy birthday dear baby Perez… ok, you can come out now. Get it? Birth day? C’mon. We’re ready for you.

I’m about to become an aunt, and I’m pretty darn excited, can you tell? I hope I’m up to the task. Even if I’m not, I know this kid’s gonna have fabulous parents. This one goes out to Jen and Tony, hereafter known as mom and dad.

1904: The Value of a Child

Is there any computing it? Can even mother-love set an estimate upon it? A soul straight from God, clothed in a physical form that reflects the mother’s own life and thought, and looks up at her with eyes often the counterpart of those which smiled into hers during that golden period, life’s honeymoon, which was after all but a foretaste of the heaven now here. A life with infinite possibilities; a little human blossom to be cared for, guided, lovingly trained into more and more of the divine likeness as the years go by. What a blessed privilege! Till now, hers has been the pleasure of preparation; now it is realization.

Each new-born child is a gift not only to parents, but to society, the nation and the world. Its right education is therefore all-important. This education having been begun before birth, need now only be continued; and Nature’s laws, in all their harmony and beauty, should be applied to this sacred task.

Source: Melendy, Dr. Mary Ries. Vivilore: The Pathway to Mental and Physical Perfection. Chicago: W. R. Vansant, 1904.
~ p. 80 ~

[Note: This was published originally back in 2001, when I was about to become an aunt for the first time! An update: Olivia finally arrived, as did Iris and Trey in subsequent years, and I'm doing just fine as Aunt Abbie, if I do say so myself.]

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