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Abigail Grotke
Silver Spring, MD
email: missabigail at missabigail dot com
twitter: @DearMissAbigail

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Miss Abigail has a collection of over 1,000 classic advice books, spanning from 1822 to 1978 and covering a variety of topics, from love and romance to etiquette and charm. The collection sparked the idea for this site, then a book, Miss Abigail's Guide to Dating, Mating, and Marriage, which has inspired an Off-Broadway production of the same name!

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Posts Tagged ‘turn-offs’

Things That Turn Men Against You

Saturday, July 17th, 2010

you cannot be a flapper all your lifeI’d like to share this, uh, informative excerpt found while anwering a recent question on shyness. It’s from This Passion Called Love, which was written by Elinor Glyn. Ladies, sharpen your pencils. You just might want to take notes on this one.

1925: Things That Turn Men Against You

American girls, I think, are the most delectable of any in the world. Even so I want to say this: Nothing appeals more to a man than immaculate cleanliness. A stunny beauty, who looks even slightly soiled, will lose out every time to her plain-faced sister so pleasing to the senses.

Men are repulsed by a woman who tries to be anything she isn’t ~ a flapper, for instance, if she is getting along in years. Your mind may stay young through all the years, and really should; but not your dress, your conversation, or your hair. A grown-up woman who makes use of ‘baby talk’ is an abomination. You cannot be a flapper all your life; so the hairdressing that looks ‘cute’ at twenty is unbecoming at thirty, and ridiculous, to say the least, at forty-five.

Above all, do everything you can to preserve your looks. While a kind heart and a beautiful spirit are wonderful assets, you can scarcely expect a husband to become thrilled at your inside beauty alone when the outside is so neglected. The exterior, somehow, is of great importance to all men. They miss it when it is gone.

Here are a few little things that greatly lessen a woman’s charm in most men’s eyes:

Red hands or arms.

Finger nails too highly polished or shaped like swords.

Fat women with bobbed hair.

Hair that is ‘doctored’ in any way.

Cheap perfumes.

Whiney voices.

Giggling.

Earrings like chandeliers.

Knickers in the city.

This should be enough to start you thinking along the right lines.

Source: Glyn, Elinor. This Passion Called Love. Auburn, N.Y.: The Authors’ Press, 1925.
~ pp. 175-77 ~

1925: Things that Turn Men Against You

Sunday, August 6th, 2006

Oh, my. You’re going to love this one. I found it in Elinor Glyn’s This Passion Called Love (1925) while looking in the books for something for a friend to read at her cousin’s wedding rehearsal dinner last weekend (never fear — she did not read this one).

As we can tell by a sampling of the table of contents, Glyn devotes quite a bit of room in this book to hanging on dearly to the one you love: “How to Attract the Man You Desire”, “Keeping a Man in Love,” “Why Love Often Dies,” “Preserving the Romance and Glamour of Love,” “Outwitting the Other Woman and the Other Man”… and so forth. You get the idea.

This excerpt is from the chapter on “Little Things that Turn Men Against You”:

~~~
Here are a few little things that greatly lessen a woman’s charms in most men’s eyes:
Red hands or arms.
Finger nails too highly polished or shaped like swords.
Fat women with bobbed hair.
Hair that is “doctored” in any way.
Cheap perfumes.
Whiney voices.
Giggling.
Earrings like chandeliers.
Knickers in the city.
~~~

Oh, don’t think the men are off the hook. Glyn wrote this in the chapter titled “Winning the Woman You Love”:

~~~
I wonder how many romances owe their ends — if the truth were known — to the man having revolted the senses of sight, scent or hearing of the woman! For never forget the love emotion is entirely dependent upon the reaction created upon the senses.

Affection can continue through offended senses, but no the love thrill. The most faithful spirit cannot feel responsive to passion if the other person smells unpleasant or is revolting to sight or hearing.

So, girls, do be very particular in yourselves, and absolutely exact refinement and delicacy in your sweethearts!
~~~