Who is Miss Abigail?

Abigail Grotke
Silver Spring, MD
email: missabigail at missabigail dot com
twitter: @DearMissAbigail

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Miss Abigail has a collection of over 1,000 classic advice books, spanning from 1822 to 1978 and covering a variety of topics, from love and romance to etiquette and charm. The collection sparked the idea for this site, then a book, Miss Abigail's Guide to Dating, Mating, and Marriage, which has inspired an Off-Broadway production of the same name!

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Posts Tagged ‘coolness’

How Do I Ask Her Out?

Tuesday, July 13th, 2010

he looks at her with a smileQ Dear Miss Abigail:

I like this girl in my class. I want to go to the movies with her. How do I ask her out?

Signed,
Kevin

A Dear Kevin:

Certainly everyone is aware of how terrifying (yet exciting) it can be to ask someone out. I found much more advice about acceptingdates, however, because most of the books in my collection were written for girls rather than boys, in a time when it was not proper for a girl to ask a boy out.

Never fear, though ~ I did locate a few tips that should help you out. You should also read “Be Courteous”. Good luck!

1956: How to Ask a Girl for a Date

When a boy wants to ask a girl for a date, there are several rules to follow and pitfalls to avoid. First of all, he invites her specifically for a particular occasion, giving her the time, the place, and the nature of the affair. He says, for example, “May I take you to the game in Hometown Gym at two next Saturday afternoon?” Knowing all the relevant facts, she has a basis upon which to refuse or accept. In the second place, he is friendly and shows that he really wants her to accept his invitation. He looks at her with a smile while he waits for her reply. If she accepts, he is pleased and arranges definitely for the time at which he will call for her. If she refuses, he says that he is sorry and suggests that perhaps another time she will go with him.

Source: Duvall, Evelyn Millis. Facts of Life and Love for Teen-Agers. New York: Association Press, 1956.
~ p. 144 ~

1961: Cool Ways to Ask for a Date

DON’T WASTE TIME
If you’ve met a girl who interests you, don’t brood about it and spend weeks getting up the courage to ask for a date. By the time you’re ready, she may have forgotton how delightful you are. Ask when the urge hits you. That’s now.

BE STRAIGHTFORWARD
Call her up, ask her how she is, etc., and before more than one minute has elapsed in idle conversation, pop the question you called about: “Would you like to go to movies with me on Saturday night?” You’ll get a quick yes or no, and you’ll avoid all that tentative beating around the bush which often proves to be so nerve-wracking. Sure, there’ll be some rejections. And also some unexpected acceptances. In the long run, you’ll find they balance out and you’ll be a lot calmer in your dating life. And more natural.

CAVE MAN APPROACH
Dash over to her, grab her by the hair and say: “Honey, you’re coming to the show with me tonight!” Better have a twinkle in your eye . . . and be prepared for a fist in the same spot.

BE YOURSELF
If you can bear it, chances are that she can, too.

[Miss Abigail just couldn’t resist giving you the following bonus tip!]

Cool Things to Do on a Date Besides Neck

NECK . . . And say you didn’t.

Source: Unger, Art. The Cool Book: A Teen-Ager’s Guide to Survival in a Square Society. New York: Monarch Books, 1961.
~ pp. 25, 32-33, 35 ~