How to Be a Girl with a Boy

you don't have to faint to be feminineThis important information comes from Kay Thomas’s Secrets of Loveliness, found during a thrift-store shopping spree.

Section 1 of this book ~ “You and Your Feelings” ~ includes a few tests to help you figure out just how lovely you are: “Do You Really Like Yourself?” “How Lovely a Daughter Are You?” and “How Do You Get on with Girls?” This week’s selection focuses on the most important test of all . . . “Are You a Good Date?”

Before we begin, however, I will also tell you of the most charming, or shall I say lovely, aspect of my purchase. The tests have been answered by (I’m assuming) none other than the book’s original owner ~ Ida Fisher. As a bonus I have included the “correct” answers, as well as Ida’s and my own. Good luck to you, my friends!

1969: How to Be a Girl with a Boy

What are your feelings about yourself when you’re on a date with a boy you like? Do you feel happy and comfortable about being you? If you do, chances are that boy will think you’re a lovely girl.

On a date, if your feelings about yourself are happy, it will be partly because of things you do on that particular date. One of the most important things is to act in ways that will make your date feel masculine and protective toward you.

This means that you should give your date a chance to open car doors for you, help you down from a bus, find a seat at the movies when there is no usher, give your order to the waiter.

Another important thing to do is to act in ways that will make you feel feminine. This doesn’tmean that you have to act helpless ~ you don’t have to faint away to feel feminine in this day and age! It does mean that you should speak softly, move quietly, and act in a gentle, ladylike way. It means that you should have discussions rather than arguments; that you should give him suggestions (if asked!) but not orders; let him be the center of the stage ~ not you.

If you follow this sort of “party” line, you’re learning how to be a lovely and popular girl.

Are You a Good Date?

Test yourself by checking (a), (b), or (c) below:

1. When alighting from a bus, do you:

(a) head for the center door right away because that’s where you’re supposed to get off? ____
(b) wait for your date to step outside so you can go out first? ____
(c) let your date go ahead and help you down? ____

2. In a restaurant, when a boy asks you what you’d like to eat, do you:

(a) choose the most expensive thing on the menu so he won’t feel embarrassed? ____
(b) choose whatever strikes your fancy and then give your order to the waiter? ____
(c) ask the boy what he suggests and then let him give the order? ____

3. At a dance, if a boy is stuck with you, do you:

(a) decide to stick it out? ____
(b) suggest you sit out the next one so he can get away gracefully? ____
(c) try to steer him toward a group of boys and girls, in the hope of changing partners? ____

4. If a boy stands you up on a date, do you:

(a) announce to all that you’re through with him? ____
(b) blow your top privately next time you meet? ____
(c) wait for his explanation, and then keep quiet about the whole thing? ____

5. If your small brother parks in the living room when you have a date, do you:

(a) attempt to dislodge him by looking daggers at him? ____
(b) throw him out boldly? ____
(c) suggest something interesting for him to do? ____

6. At a movie, if you see two vacant seats do you:

(a) rush toward them, letting your date follow? ____
(b) point out the seats and start down the aisle? ____
(c) wait for him to notice the seats and lead you to them? ____

7. At a soda fountain with your date, do you:

(a) look around to see who else is there so he won’t be bored? ____
(b) keep checking your appearance in the mirror? ____
(c) listen to what your date has to say? ____

8. If your mother doesn’t like the looks of a boy you date, do you:

(a) meet him at the corner drugstore? ____
(b) stop seeing him without an explanation? ____
(c) ask your mother if you may invite him over so she can get to know him? ____

9. If your date is picking you up in his car, do you:

(a) wait until he honks and then rush out? ____
(b) wait until he rings your doorbell, then go out? ____
(c) ask him in to meet your parents? ____

10. When you go out with a new boy, do you:

(a) tell him about the other boys you date? ____
(b) fill him in on the latest school gossip? ____
(c) get him to talk about himself? ____

According to the book, “The answers: (c) in every case. How did you do?”

Ida did quite well, but not perfectly. Seems she has some brushing up to do. She answered ~
1: (c), 2: (b), 3: (b), 4: (c), 5: (c), 6: (c), 7: (c), 8: (c), 9: (c), 10: (c)

I failed miserably (but I feel quite proud of myself) ~
1: (a), 2: (b), 3: (I’m not quite sure what this question means!), 4: (a), 5: (b), 6: (a), 7: (sorry, none of the above), 8: (a), 9: (b), 10: (a)

Source: Thomas, Kay. Secrets of Loveliness. New York: Scholastic Book Services, 1969.
~ pp. 16-18 ~