The Eyes Have It

eyes play you falseQ Dear Miss Abigail:

I am over the moon about a particular boy and I desperately need your insight. When a guy wants to talk to you, he asks you a question, so you turn to face him, and he looks at you right in the eyes as you respond to his question, is that a sign of romantic interest? Thanks in advance for your help.

Over the Moon

A Dear Moon:

This is a tough one. What kind of question was it? Did you give an appropriate answer? What did he do after you responded? Without more information, I’m just not sure. Perhaps you can take the following advice and do a bit of interpreting for yourself. It was written by John Robert Powers and Mary Sue Miller, found in their book titled Secrets of Charm.

1954: The Eyes Have It

Eyes have a language all their own. They can smile, glower or record boredom. And although your lips may speak thoughts of which a diplomat would be proud, it would be better never to have spoken at all if your eyes register denial.

It’s possible that through unconscious habit your eyes play you false. To make sure, study the antics of your eyes before a mirror. Open and close your eyes slowly. You will discover very soon that it is the movement of the upper lid that gives the eye its range and expression. The lower lid never moves unless you frown-study some object or thought. When it does, it gives your face the expression of a Doubting Thomas. Try it, and you will see how uncomplimentary the expression is to your face or to anyone else’s words. . . .

How do you look when you are lost in contemplation? Let your lid come halfway down over the pupil and there you have it. Be guilty of this expression when holding a conversation, and you will be considered rudely inattentive.

You probably know at least one person who looks bored or indifferent most of the time. Both his or her eyelids and mouth droop. This is mainly an affectation of young people who believe that such an expression makes them appear sophisticated. But boredom is not, never was or never will be chic! Stamped on the face, it announces just one message: ‘You tire me, irk me, and I hope you leave soon.’ No expression is better calculated to kill any spontaneous feelings others might have for the wearer.

Your eyes tell quite another story and say the most appealing things about you when they are wide-open, alight with interest and look the other person right in the eye.

Source: Powers, John Robert and Mary Sue Miller. Secrets of Charm. Philadelphia: John C. Winston Company, 1954.
~ pp. 97-98 ~