I Think My Crush is Using Me

a kiss is a beautiful expressionQ Dear Miss Abigail:

I recently went to this party. My crush asked me to dance and we then sat alone together for a little while. Then he asked me if I wanted to go make-out. I said no because I wasn’t sure if he was using me or not. Was he?


A Dear Sarah:

Oh, what a thrill! Your crush asked you to make-out. How I would give anything for that simple pleasure in life. But I think you have valid concerns. You need to decide what you want to do. Maybe Pat Boone’s advice from his fabulous book ‘Twixt Twelve and Twenty: Pat talks to Teenagers will help. I think we all have a lot to learn from Mr. Boone, don’t you?

1958: Rules for a Beginner

Now, I believe that kissing is here to stay and I’m glad of it! I understand that the inhabitants of the Lapland Alps rub noses; the Andaman Islanders say “I love you” by blowing into one another’s hands with a cooing murmur; the Fuegians pat and slap in affection. But we kiss. Starting in the early teens. Not that it should, but it does. I know. I was there. Now that I’m the father of four little girls I could wish that there were less kissing and more scrabble and parchesi. Do you know why?

Not for the usual negative reasons, although I go along with those. We all know that indiscriminate kissing, dancing in the dark, hanging around in cars, late dates at this early stage can lead to trouble. And that you miss a lot of fun with the nicer play-by-the-rules crowd. There is absolutely no need to rush clumsily into things that will have such beautiful meaning later on.

But I recommend the moderate course for another very positive reason. Kissing is not a game. Believe me! It means a lot more than just a pleasant pastime, a forfeit, or a test of popularity. I can tell you for sure that if you get to thinking of it that way, you’re dead wrong. A kiss is a beautiful expression of love ~ real love. Not only that, it is a powerful stimulus of emotion. Kissing for fun is like playing with a beautiful candle in a roomful of dynamite! And it’s like any other beautiful thing ~ when it ceases to be rare, it loses its value and much of its beauty. I really think it’s better to amuse ourselves in some other way. For your own future enjoyment I say go bowling, or to a basketball game, or watch a good TV program (like the Pat Boone Chevy show!), at least for a while.

Take it easy. Keep to the middle course. No extremes.

Source: Boone, Pat. ‘Twixt Twelve and Twenty: Pat talks to Teenagers. Engelwood Cliffs, N.J.: Prentice-Hall, Inc., 1958.
~ pp. 60-61 ~