Q Dear Miss Abigail:
I like a girl very much but I don’t know if she likes me or not. I dare not call her! Heart beating very fast!! I’m afraid of failure! Reply quick!
A Dear Vic:
Breathe in ~ breathe out. Breathe in ~ breathe out. OK, now that Vic has calmed down, let’s read a bit about getting that first date with the girl or boy of your fantasies. The following hints are from Living for Young Moderns, and was written by Irene E. McDermott and Florence W. Nicholas.
Your fears are not unique ~ this just happens to be the biggest problem many of you have, judging by all the email I get on this topic. And just think, all those kids back in the 1950s were having the very same troubles as you all. Have times changed? Not as much as we like to think.
1956: Hints on Getting a Date
One of the major problems in dating is how to get a date. Frequently it happens that a boy or a girl who has never had a date wants to have one for some special affair and does not know how to go about it. A teen-age boy and a teen-age girl express their problems related to getting a date in the following statements:
My personal problem is one girl. I would like to ask her for a date, but I don’t know if she likes me or not. Sometimes she acts as if she does and other times as if she doesn’t.
My only problem is about a boy I know. I would like to talk to him, but I do not know how to express myself. When I see him I do not know what to say or what to do, so I don’t know if he likes me or not.
It seems as if this boy and this girl are writing about each other; but such is not the case, for they live a long distance apart. Both of these teen-agers feel an unnecessary timidity and lack of self-confidence. If the boy had known how to ask for a date, he probably would have found that the girl would have accepted happily. In the case of the girl who did not know what to say or how to act, the situation might have been different if she could have seemed friendly to the boy.
Here are some general suggestions which should be helpful in getting a date:
1. Keep it clearly in your mind that dating is only a new phase of friendship. It is friendship between a boy and a girl. When a boy and a girl have their first date, it does not mean that they are “going steady,” that they will become engaged or marry. Most likely they will not. Both of them will have many other dates before they begin to consider a life partner.
2. Do not be disturbed by teasing about your girl friend or boy friend. Smile and be good-natured about it. The less embarrassed and upset you are, the sooner the teasing will stop.
3. Remember that experience in dating soon breaks down self-consciousness. After the first plunge, a boy will find it much easier to ask for a date; and a girl will find it easier to encourage a boy to ask her for a date.
4. Do not be “choosy” or supercritical in your selection of the person whom you wish to date. Many teen-agers seem to think that nothing less that a beauty queen or a prince charming is acceptable for their dates, and therefore miss a lot of good fun with less spectacular
Source: McDermott, Irene E. and Florence Nicholas. Living For Young Moderns. Chicago: J. B. Lippincott Company, 1956.
~ pp. 96-97 ~