Tips for the Turned Down

as much fun as the next fellowQ Dear Miss Abigail:

How come everybody turns me down when I ask them out?


A Dear Colin:

You don’t say what you’re approach has been so far, so it’s a bit tricky to pinpoint the problem. For inspiration, I looked through an interesting book “for boys in their teens” titled Birthday Chats with Tomorrow’s Man, written by Louis Le Claire Jones in1940. Here’s some advice that should help when asking the young ladies out.

1940: Let’s Take a Slant at the Girls

I suppose that some of your substantial friendships are with girls ~ friendships that prompt you to comb your hair, press your pants, and create in you the desire to make yourself worthy of their respect. Girls have no particular use for ‘sissies’ and they are quick to scent the sham of the pretender. Their natural intuition guides them in their admiration or dislike for others, to such an extent that any boy should feel honored if he has gained the respect and friendship of a nice girl.

There are many ways, son, to gain and hold their friendship. Let’s dismiss the idea that girls admire only the ‘looks’ of a boy. ‘Handsome is as handsome does,’ you know, and ten to one it’s what the boy does that makes the impression. If you expect people to like you, above all be genuine, be yourself, and don’t pose in imitation of others.

Remember, son, a gentleman can have as much fun as the next fellow. He can be a rowdy or a clown ~ all in the proper time and place ~ and still be one; it all depends on knowing when andhow to draw the line in personal behavior.

If you expect girls to see your own good qualities don’t have your amusement at the expense or embarrassment of others; because sometimes for the sake of getting a laugh, you may antagonize or hurt one who will always remember it against you. Just soft pedal on your criticism of others and don’t belittle their efforts in a girl’s presence as your own faults may loom larger than ever in the very act of discrediting others.

Source: Jones, Louis LeClaire. Birthday Chats with Tomorrow’s Man. Chicago: Charles E. Tench Printing Co., 1940.
~ pp. 81-82 ~