Who is Miss Abigail?

Abigail Grotke
Takoma Park, MD
email: missabigail at missabigail dot com
twitter: @DearMissAbigail

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Miss Abigail has a collection of over 1,000 classic advice books, spanning from 1822 to 1978 and covering a variety of topics, from love and romance to etiquette and charm. The collection sparked the idea for this site, then a book, Miss Abigail's Guide to Dating, Mating, and Marriage, which has inspired an off-broadway production of the same name!

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Happy 2013!

Tuesday, January 1st, 2013

Happy New Year everyone! I’ve been bringing in the New Year by cleaning up my office, straightening my bookshelves and weeding out some duplicate copies of books. I plan to do some giveaways over the next few months to pass the extra copies along to others who might enjoy. Stay tuned here and on my Facebook page for more details.

Another task has been to clean up my unused iPad apps and reorganize the remaining ones. While doing so I was reminded of my WordPress app that allows me to post to the website while mobile. Totally forgot I had that! I’m currently typing from the living room – how exotic!

I hope 2013 brings you whatever you desire!

Recent Acquisitions

Monday, November 26th, 2012

Manual of Health for Women: Illustrated
There have been some recent acquisitions to Miss Abigail’s collection to tell you about.

This summer, while on I paid way too much for a book I couldn’t resist – it is titled: Manual of Health for Women: Plain advice in sickness and health (1906). Just look at this cover! It is “respectfully dedicated to the women of America by the Author.” I’m a sucker for the old health books, particularly aimed at the ladies. The preface describes “female troubles” which are “so frequent especially among the so-called better classes that one rarely finds a healthy woman.” The author hoped to diminish the suffering of these women by imparting wisdomn of diseases and medical advice. I sure hope it worked!

Back in October, I scored big at the annual Library of Congress staff book sale. Among my finds were:

Life Saving & Water Safety (1937) (lots of images of tipping canoes);

A Cooperative Method of Natural Birth Control (1976) with a lovely photo of morning glories on the cover and other flowery images inside;

The Art of Counseling: How to Gain and Give Mental Health (1939);

Booklet for Women Who Wish to Determine Their Own Names After Marriage (1974), published by the Center for a Woman’s Own Name (let me just file that under “so glad times have changed”);

Your Wedding: How to Plan and Enjoy It (1977 ed.);

Working Wardrobe: Affordable Clothes that Work for You! (1982). A little beyond my collecting years through the 1970s, but I guess as we age it can’t hurt to expand into the 1990s! Besides, the big hairdos are priceless.

(I paid only $3 for the lot! Does that make up for my expensive purchase?)

Somewhere along the way I also picked up Home Entertaining: A Complete Guide (I think at an estate sale). Published in 1950, this one should be fun to peruse for holiday party tips!

Housewifery (1919)And most recently, my mom found Housewifery: A Manual and Text Book of Practical Housekeeping, by Lydia Ray Balderston (1919) at a yard sale, and donated it to the cause just last week. It was part of Lippincott’s Home Manuals, a series of books with other topics such as clothing, successfully canning and preserving, home hygiene, household business, laundering, and millinery.

 

 

 

 

 

The book has some wonderful illustrations and photographs, such as this one which would have helped with my recent bathroom renovation. Apologies for the crooked photo, I was in a rush and didn’t get around to fixing it before posting.

Types of Flooring

Mom and I were also enjoying the cleaning supplies and equipment. This one shows an early clothes dryer that clearly didn’t take off.

Metal Clothes Drying Cabinet

She also showed me some fun stuff about vacuum cleaners. That reminds me, I keep trying to teach the dogs to vacuum but they are slow to learn. Maybe I’ll read it out loud to them!

Takoma Park (MD) Authors’ Book Sale

Monday, November 26th, 2012

This Saturday, December 1, 2012, I’ll be signing and selling books at the 4th Annual Takoma Park Authors’ Book Sale. Details are below:

~~~~

Come meet Takoma Park authors, who will be selling and signing their books.
There will be a great selection – and books make great holiday gifts!

 4th ANNUAL TAKOMA PARK AUTHORS BOOK SALE

 Saturday, December 1
1:30-3:30 p.m.

Presbyterian Church
Corner of Tulip & Maple Aves. (Enter on Tulip via playground, door on left)

Local authors will be selling and signing books of every ilk and genre.

ALSO happening nearby:

* Alternative Gift Fair
*  Takoma Park Craftwoman’s 31st Annual Holiday Show and Sale

Hope to see you there!

 ~~~~

Apparently I’ve Been Channeling My Grandmother All These Years

Tuesday, September 4th, 2012

Building Healthy Sex Knowledge, 1937A few months ago, my mother uncovered a college paper that my Grandmother Bailey (her mother) had written when she was at Oberlin College. She saw that the topic was right up my alley, so sent it along to me.

The paper is titled “Building Healthy Sex Knowledge” and was written for a child development course (and is marked up by the professor) by Virginia Moore Patterson 75 years ago ~ on December 15, 1937. I recently scanned the whole thing in and posted it over on Flickr.

Virginia Moore Patterson Bailey

Virginia married Allen Bailey in the summer of 1938, and they went on to have three girls (my mother is the eldest). Here’s a picture of Grandmother Bailey, in a photo dated July 1941, after they’d been married a few years. By the way, Virginia was also the one who enrolled me in charm school when I was in junior high.

Imagine my excitement to read this paper! And to see that my grandmother had cited many books that are in my own collection! They include Growing Up (I’ve got the 1945 edition), Sex Life of Youth (I’ve got the 1948 10th printing), and New Patterns in Sex Teaching (1934).

She starts out the paper by writing “One of my ‘when I grow up’ resolves has been to see that my children where not, like myself, left to their own devices to find out facts about human reproduction, or left to fantastic imaginings as substitutes for knowledge.” Hmm… Maybe my mom and my aunts can let us know how things turned out with that in the comments.

I chuckled at some of the markup, such as on page 10, where next to the text “Here there is a particularly fine presentation on the problems of necking and petting,” the professor writes “be specific here.”  She does go on to mention the “seven tests on page 66 through 72″ of The Sex Life of Youth. Though I have a later edition, I excitedly turned to my copy of the book to see if those seven tests would appear, and lo and behold, they were there! I was able to read the seven tests that my grandmother had read and cited 75 years before. I won’t reproduce the full details here, but the topics were:

1) Sensual or Spiritual? How far is the petting a matter of sheer sensual gratification, without any particular respect for the person concerned, and how far is it a natural expression of an understanding which has grown up in the realm of the spirit, and which has become something rarely beautiful and respected?

2) After-Taste? What sort of a taste is left in the mind as one looks back upon the experience?

3) Mutual? Is the relationship honestly shared by both?

4) Habit-Forming? Is the petting so light or temporary that is could hardly result in the fixing of a habit, or is it intense and prolonged and oft-repeated?

5) Further Effects? Is the petting likely to lead to a loss of rational controls and to an indulgence in sex intercourse which one or both will later regret?

6) Socially Acceptable? What is the social status of the person who pets, or who refuses to pet?

7) Exclude Other Activities? What other type of enjoyment is petting preventing?

Sex Life of Youth - cover
The seven tests end with a section titled “Thoughtful Decision.” Here’s an excerpt: “Upon the answers to some such questions as these will depend the judgment in each individual case… Probably some experience with petting will lead any young person to realize the difference between physical stimulation and real love, and will thus help to avoid the difficulties which arose in some cases in which two young people, mistaking infatuation for love, become engaged as a result of a petting party.” Oh my, my grandmother was reading about petting parties possibly at the same time she was dating (and most likely engaged) to my grandfather! Scandalous!

It is refreshing to see how frank her writing is, for a woman of her age and in that era. And so very fun to learn a bit more about Virginia and her college days, and to know that she might have gotten a kick out of this Miss Abigail thing (which came about long after she died).

Thanks to mom for finding this and passing it along! And to Grandmother Bailey for writing it so many years ago.

Sears Charm Book available for sale

Thursday, August 9th, 2012

For those of you looking for copies of the Sears Discovery Charm School book, a reader over on Facebook says she’s got one she’d be willing to part with.

It’s got a 1965 copyright on it. “Great condition…..only my name is written in pencil in the front. Front page has 2 holes that pulled through,” she reports. She’s going to try to provide a photo soon…

If anyone’s interested, contact me via email (see above left).

Interview in The Nervous Breakdown

Tuesday, April 24th, 2012

The Nervous BreakdownCheck out this fun interview of me over at The Nervous Breakdown. I was quizzed about my adventures as Miss Abigail by , who I met years ago while working on a project for my day job at the Library of Congress. Learn more about how I got started, and how the book and play came about.

Adventures in e-book publishing: one author’s experience

Saturday, February 11th, 2012

ebook coverLast fall I decided to jump on the ebook wagon and convert Miss Abigail’s Guide to Dating, Mating, and Marriage to electronic format. Little did I know how confusing that process might be, and frustrating at times. But ultimately I was successful, and now my book is available for your Kindle, your iPad, and your Nook (please go buy it, it’s a bargain!).

During this process, I found various posts on “how to publish an ebook” from other authors helpful, so thought I would share my experiences here in case any other self-published author is considering taking the plunge and wanted to hear more experiences.

First, I consulted with my mom and stepdad who had recently converted many of my mom’s book to ebook format, including her newest one. But since they were working on Windows machines and not on a Mac, like I do, I had to keep hunting for what the best tools might be for my environment. At first, the easiest thing to do seemed to load the book to Lulu or Smashwords and get them to do the various conversions needed. They also offered services to load the files to the appropriate bookstores. But the more I investigated these, I made the decision to produce it on my own. My reasons:

  • I had mistakenly thought that individuals like me could not directly publish to iBookstore and you HAD to use Lulu or Smashwords (not true any longer, they changed this in 2010, as long as you have a SSN!) Note: this was in the months prior to the release of Apples iBook Author software.
  • I realized Lulu took a cut of the price of the book on top of the cut that Amazon, iBookstore, and Barnes & Nobles takes for selling your title, and when I looked at the services offered, I realized I had the skills to do it myself.
  • Smashwords looked appealing but then I read in their Style Guide that they wanted you to create your file in Word, which I don’t have, so I moved on.

Luckily I had my book in electronic format from when I had created the print version in 2010. However, I had been clever with book layout in the print version, and had lots of callouts and special formatting, so I had to go through the entire 268 pages and clean up (by hand) weird things that occurred when converting the file I had into something I could work with for the ebook. In addition, all of my chapter heads and headers about each quote had mysteriously disappeared upon import into Pages, so I had to retype all of that text.

Using Pages to Create an ePub File

I learned that Pages (which I had already) creates ePub files, so I started there to get my book into shape. I downloaded the template and started to play around with it. I did one chapter and then copied the file to iPad to test it out. I had to keep futzing with the layout to get it right. I took a look at how some of the “big publishers” were handling things like title pages, which don’t seem to like to stay on one page in an ebook reader. I realized that some of them cheat and just include an image file as their title page.

I also noticed that the big publishers, probably since they were doing things en masse, weren’t so careful or consistent with formatting. Mostly the books I’d downloaded were text only, so I guess that was not terribly surprising. But I had headers and images and distinctions between my commentary and the author’s of the classic advice to try to sort out on the screen, so I did a lot of formatting, loading to my iPad, testing, reformatting, loading, etc. – you get the point – to see how things would work. I ended up moving some of the front matter like the copyright page information to the end of the book, as I’d seen in other ebooks. It took awhile to format the entire book and load the inline images (much easier than I expected and they look pretty good!), but I eventually had it how I wanted it, and was ready to move on.

Yay, My ePub is Done!  Oh Wait, I Need Another Format?

I work at a library that is trying to deal with the acquisition and management of digital materials. Although I am not one of those who is directly involved with talks about ebooks or ejournals (I focus on website preservation), I know people who are, and I know people very concerned about the preservation of digital materials. There is a lot of talk about formats in our circles. Before I started my ebook journey, I was aware that Kindle had their format and it wasn’t ePub, and I knew other ebook readers had other formats, but I wasn’t sure how to make all those different files. Apple help files weren’t telling me. Amazon’s Kindle Direct program wasn’t outright telling me. I had to dig around some more, and luckily discovered the fabulous Calibre, a free and open source software that enable conversion from one type to another.

I was able to easily import my ePub file into Calibre, and convert it to the .mobi format so it would work on the Kindle. I copied the file to my Kindle to test it out. Had to go back and forth and tweak the formatting again before declaring it a success – what looked good on the iBook didn’t always look great on the Kindle, so had to find a happy medium.  At some point I decided things were looking “good enough” and I could do no more with the skills I had. I’m still not sure I got the margins right – apologies to those readers who may have noticed!

Creating the eBook Cover

If you insert the cover image as the first page in Pages, it does transfer to your device and along with the file, but I quickly realized my print book cover wouldn’t work as a thumbnail. I consulted with my friend Nina Tovish who designed the first cover, and based on some specs I found, I think in a forum about Lulu publishing (612 x 792 pixels, 72, 96, or 150 dpi, and a JPG)  she created the ebook-friendly version.  It was only upon uploading to the various sellers that I realized they included desired sizes/specs in their instructions. I wish this data had been more up front and obvious as we were creating the file, but I think it turned out great anyway. Yay, Nina!

What was interesting (and of course now that I’ve gone through the process makes complete sense) about the ebook cover is, it’s less of a “cover” but more of a marketing image to use. Readers don’t even see it as the first thing when opening up a new file. It’s all about the first page of the book! Hard to get your mind around that when you are first starting out (at least for me).

Getting an ISBN (and Getting Grumpy About It)

I had gone through the process of getting an ISBN for my print book, so knew how to do that. I should have just bought the ten pack initially, but I was trying to save money. Doh! So I bought another singular one (“why would I possible need more?” I thought). Apple requires it for ebooks in the iBookstore, however Amazon and Barnes and Noble did not for Kindle and Nook. I neglected to read the fine print that said “If you wish to have a hard bound copy, a soft bound copy, an ePUB, a PDF, a MOBI, or even register a new version, you will need a unique ISBN for each version.”

Translation regarding ebooks: in order to have your book available as an ePub AND a .mobi for Kindle, you actually should have TWO ISBNs FOR THE SAME EBOOK. I didn’t realize this until AFTER I had purchased one more ISBN for my ebook. In my mind, the ebook is the unique item; the file format is not the unique item. I understand the need for different ISBNs for the hardcover, print, and digital file, but it still mystifies me why you would need to ISBNs for the same thing in different digital file formats (imagine getting one for every possible ebook file format? – this is why standards are good, people!). Needless to say I was grumpy about it and used the same ISBN in both the ePub and the .mobi file. So there!

If I get carted away by the ISBN police, will someone take care of my book collection?

Getting it Listed

I’ve got my book, the marketing image, and my ISBN. I decided on a price ($3.99) after googling a bit about pricing ebooks. I then set out to start getting the ebook listed so it would be available for purchase. I decided to stick with the big three:

  • Barnes and Noble’s PubIt! program was by far the easiest, most intuitive, most friendly to use. Filled out information about the book, selected “worldwide rights” so it would be listed in other countries as well, uploaded the text and cover files, and in no time my book was listed there. I think it took only 24 hrs to appear and was automatically linked to the print version.
  • Amazon’s KindleDirect had an established program which was fairly easy to use. Much like B&N, filled out information about the book and uploaded the files. The ebook was listed pretty quickly (about 24 hours) however a few weeks later, it still wasn’t link to my print book as they said should happen automatically. A quick email with a request to link the two fixed it within a day or so.
  • Apple took quite a bit longer to get listed and was by far the most frustrating (sorry Apple, I really do love you otherwise!). First, I set up an account for iTunes connect, and had to fill out various tax forms and sign a lengthy agreement, etc. etc. All of that had to be “approved” and then finally I was granted the ability to upload. From there they give you instructions to download something called iTunes producer, which allows you to add metadata, add your files and required ISBN. Unfortunately there was no option for just selecting “worldwide rights” and I had to do this painstaking task of selecting each country I wanted my book to sell in, then telling them how much the print version costs (in the currency of that country – thank you xe.com) and filling out other fields. A lot of clicking, and I’m still not sure why the bother when it was so easy with the other two sites. Finally I finished that, and tried to upload, but kept getting an error. After a few days of trying, I realized I had missed a step in the ISBN registration process. It took a few days to sort out what I’d done wrong there. I tried to upload again once it was fixed, but was still getting error messages related to the ISBN for about a week. I finally removed the ISBN for my print book, which I had added in a section about “related titles.” As soon as I did that, the file upload worked. Then I had to wait for iTunes to “quality review” the book, which took longer than the 7-10 days they said it would take. I finally sent an email and the next day it was done and available for sale at last. This was about three weeks after the Nook and Kindle versions were available.

Further Reflection

Well, authors – it is possible for you to do all of this without the services of another company. I can’t say it was straightforward, and I really wish there were much better tools out there to create ebooks and some clearer standards, since this ebook thing clearly isn’t going away. While I was waiting for the iTunes stuff to get sorted out, I heard talk of Apples big changes ‘a coming to ebook publishing, but was disappointed when it was announced and I learned that their iBooks Author program was just that –   iBooks only. I don’t understand why they are introducing yet another nonstandard format to the mix, when I thought they were committed to ePub (a standard! standards are good!). Sigh.

Despite my frustrations, I don’t regret going through this process, and I’m thrilled I was able to have my book available for everyone who got new ebook readers for Christmas! I hope my experiences in ebook publishing will help another as they go through the process.

Good luck!

Oh, and did I mention I’d be ever so grateful if you’d purchase my book? :)

Miss Abigail {the show} is heading on the road!

Tuesday, December 6th, 2011

If you’re in Rochester, Fort Lauderdale, Cleveland, Milwaukee, Norwell, or Palm Beach ~ you’re in for a treat. I just received the schedule for the touring show of Miss Abigail’s Guide to Dating, Mating, and Marriage, the play inspired by my book:

1/19 – 1/29/12: Downstairs Cabaret, Rochester, NY
downstairscabaret.com

2/3 – 2/4/2012: The Broward Center for the Performing Arts, Ft. Lauderdale, FL
browardcenter.org

2/8 – 2/12/12: Playhouse Square Foundation, Cleveland, OH
playhousesquare.org

2/16 – 2/19/12: Marcus Center for the Performing Arts, Milwaukee, WI
marcuscenter.org

2/22 – 2/26/12: The Company Theatre, Norwell, MA
companytheatre.com

3/1 – 3/11/12: Downstairs Cabaret, Rochester, NY
downstairscabaret.com

3/20 – 4/1/12: Raymond F. Kravis Center for Performing Arts, W. Palm Beach, FL
kravis.org

These dates/locations are subject to change, of course. Check the theater websites for more details, and to buy tickets!

Takoma Park Authors’s Book Sale This Saturday, 5-7pm!

Monday, December 5th, 2011

I’ll be at this event on Saturday, in my home town of Takoma Park, Maryland. Stop on by to pick up a signed copy of the book! And if you don’t want a book, you can just have some cheesecake and stop by to chat. Hope to see you there!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

3rd Annual Takoma Park Authors’ Book Sale

Come meet Takoma Park authors, who will be selling and signing their books. There will be a great selection – and books make great holiday gifts!

Enjoy delicious sandwiches, baked goods, desserts, and beer and wine that will be available for purchase while you peruse the books and chat with the authors and neighbors.

 5 – 7 p.m.  Saturday, Dec. 10th

Capital City Cheesecake

7071 Carroll Avenue

Takoma Park, MD

301-270-7260

Miss Abigail’s Guide to Dating, Mating, and Marriage – coming soon to… Armenia?

Thursday, October 13th, 2011

I’ve just learned, by way of a hard-to-read royalties statement from the publisher who took over my book after the original publisher went out of business, that the foreign/translation rights have been bought up by an Armenian publisher called Gruppo Editoriale Armenia. Their website has no mention of it (that I can tell – I don’t speak Armenian!) and this is the first I’ve heard of it.  I wish I knew more!

The German edition turned out beautifully so it could be fun to see what they do with it. If someone from Gruppo Editoriale Armenia stumnland have any details, let me know!

Last summer I was told the U.S. edition was officially out of print and I was able to buy back the rights. I guess that still means they can sell off the foreign language rights, which is a good thing!

 

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